I Wish I Was Your Whiskey (Sweet Perdita)

I Wish I Was Your Whiskey

Every Monday night
And every other Wednesday
Sweet Perdita gently breaks my heart

And I pour her drinks for free
And hope the boss don’t see me
But when sweet Perdita’s singing, I ain’t so smart.

She takes one shot of Jack
For every love song
That I dream she sings for me alone
She needs two shots of Beam
In between her covers of Nina Simone

O I wish I was your whiskey
‘Cause I can ease your pain
I’d cheer your ass up
Before you put down the cup
And if you fuck up
I’ll take the blame

I wish I was your whiskey
Ain’t nothing that I’d rather be
Honey, I’ll keep you warm
Through this cold winter storm
And you can drown all your sorrows in me

Every lonesome strum
Every limb goes numb
My feet uneasily hovering above the floor

Through these tears I see
She don’t sing for me
It’s those hopeless dreams I was hoping to ignore

She needs one shot of Black
Johnnie Walker
For every sad song she croons
And it’s Maker’s Mark
To harden her heart before she can belt out the blues

O I wish I was your whiskey
‘Cause I can ease your pain
I’d cheer your ass up
Before you put down the cup
And if you fuck up
I’ll take the blame

I wish I was your whiskey
Ain’t nothing that I’d rather be
Honey, I’ll keep you warm
Through this cold winter storm
And you can drown all your sorrows in me

Everybody knows
That every bar must close
Bleary-eyed and busted, I give last call

As her final tune
Leaves this old saloon
So does sweet Perdita pass these walls

And it’s old Wild Turkey
For the barkeep
As the regulars file down the stairs
I’m drinking Bushmills
‘Til I get the will
To confess to her empty chair

O I wish I was your whiskey
‘Cause I can ease your pain
I’d cheer your ass up
Before you put down the cup
And if you fuck up
I’ll take the blame

I wish I was your whiskey
Ain’t nothing that I’d rather be
Honey, I’ll keep you warm
Through this cold winter storm
And you can drown all your sorrows in me